Author Material?

My 2026 goal: go after your dreams fr this time

“I respect doormen tremendously. You all have a hard job. I just finished this terrific book– a memoir about a doorman on the Upper East Side.” I’m sure I furrowed my brow at the realtor’s words– this has been the easiest job I have ever had. But, as a lover of the memoir genre, I asked for the name and title of the book.

That same Monday afternoon as I finished my shift, I pulled up Building Material’s audio book on Spotify as I walked through Central Park. Stephen Bruno’s memoir was instantly captivating. It was humorous, had heart, and instantly struck me with déjà vu. I don’t want to spoil the book (or my book, for that matter) but as the similarities between our lives became more numerous, I grew more discouraged. Well, I don’t have to write my memoir anymore, because we have lived almost identical lives! I felt similarly when I read Finding Me by Viola Davis last summer.

It’s been several months since that initial reading and subsequent discouragement and I have come to accept that my story is unique and worth telling because it is mine. Regardless of the similarities between anyone else’s life and mine, the story of MY life would be an original story. I shook off the defeatism and resolved to get back to writing.

Despite the commonalities, there was one major difference between our lives. Mr. Bruno had gone back to college and then went on to graduate from one of the top writing MFAs in New York City. He was brave enough to go back to school specifically for writing.

Throughout this past fall, I wrestled with technology and financial aid departments trying to figure out if I would once again be a college student come January. With each passing day the frustration over trying to figure it out gave way to resignation that maybe now is once again not the time for my scholastic journey to continue. The plan was to get my bachelors in psychology and also take a couple writing classes, a couple business classes. I felt that this path most encompassed everything I’ve been working on with Mental Health Tings for the last five years.

The last few months of working my way through the Artist’s Way, however, has been awakening long dormant creative desires to be an artist, performing as well as visual. Julia Cameron has been doing her very best to convince me that I can live a prosperous life as an artist and I’ve been wrestling with this acknowledged longing. One day while completing my “morning pages” in the evening (as I always end up doing) an unspoken suspicion appeared on the page. What if the reason college hasn’t worked out for me the last several times I’ve applied (no exaggeration) is because I have never been brave enough to go to school for writing? Or acting? Or art? In trying to forge a safe path for myself I have only come up with roadblocks. When voicing this speculation to those I confide in, I additionally confessed that I didn’t think I would ever be brave enough to devote myself fully to this dream I have held so closely to my chest.

This latest obstacle brought forth a new line of questioning: Maybe going back to school right now isn’t the right move for me? If it’s not, then what is? The tiny voice in my head has been whispering that I should actually focus on rewriting my book, which I was resolved to do in November. And yet, when I typed Nanowrimo into the search bar on November 1st and discovered that the website was entirely shut down back in March, I asked myself how I was ever going to be able to hold myself accountable to finish this book! Rewriting it in November was taken entirely off the table, so the next logical conclusion I reached was that maybe God wanted me to rewrite it in 2026. After all: a full time job, full time school, AND writing a novel would be too much at once to accomplish. Especially if I wanted to maintain any continuation of my newfound enjoyment of life. At a crossroads, I sought guidance the tried and true way I know how: asking for A Sign™.

On a random Monday night in early November, God provided me with A Sign™ of epic proportions. I was sitting outside the AMC theatre on 42nd street when I saw a man approach the halal cart next to where I was sitting on a traffic barricade with my friend. I turned to my friend excitedly saying “I think I know who that is! He’s an author. I read his book this year!” Many years of working in the service industry in New York City has trained me not to fangirl when meeting celebrities I admire. My job used to depend on that discretion and now I simply smile at people I recognize before letting them carry on with their day. On this Monday evening, however, I thought fuck it! I’m gonna go talk to him!

I walked up to Stephen Bruno and confirmed it was him before telling him I had read his book, Building Material this year.

When he asked “You recognized me from the picture on the back of the book?” I started to think maybe I was a creeper. I confessed that I’d followed him on Instagram after reading the book before letting him know that I am also a doorman and a writer. We talked some about what is next for him while I contemplated what’s next for me. Is this supposed to be A Sign™ for me to go back to school the way Stephen did? Or was it an indication that I should finish writing my book?

I didn’t have any answers as the deadline to enroll loomed, but I was certainly growing apathetic toward the inconveniently unavailable financial aid department teams. Still unsure, I’d been halfheartedly praying asking God for some clarity or direction and it finally came to me in the worst, yet unassuming way.

2026 has gotten off to a slow start for me. In addition to the snail’s pace of the winter months, my body has been doing its best to fight off all potential infections and viruses. I’ve spent the past couple weeks asleep at every chance I could get. Most notably though is the heaviness I have been weighed down with. A heaviness that comes from the many different sources of pain hemorrhaging throughout the globe, but also from a tragedy a good deal closer to home. On December 21st my cousin’s niece, Imani, was murdered. My prayers, once so focused on my next steps, have turned to supplication that my family be comforted during this time, that the grief and anger would not consume them. I offered my support at the funeral and got just a glimpse into who Imani was during the service. Not only a mother, a daughter, sister, friend but a person– one who boldly charted her own path, pursued her passions and lived meaningfully.

I’m not callously insinuating that Imani’s death was A Sign™ for me. There was no lightbulb moment the day of the funeral or even the day after. I didn’t listen to the stories being told at her memorial feeling inspired to chase my dreams. I don’t even remember consciously thinking that life is too short. In planning the next year throughout these past couple weeks, I’ve been inundated with this feeling of dissatisfaction. I am not particularly passionate about blogging, even for as good a cause as inspiring people to transform their mental health. Why should I get a degree in a subject that I am not passionate about? Why work so hard and incur more debt when I’m not dedicated to the field? Whether it was the sobering news to end 2025, or the geopolitical chaos to start 2026, I have become determined to live my one life well.

Stephen Bruno’s parting words to me that night outside AMC were both a charge and an inspiration. “If it can happen for me it can happen for anyone so go for it!” People’s dreams are coming true every single day. Some after years of meticulous dedication, some by an unexpected stroke of luck. Some in a grandiose manner that changes the rest of their life forever and others in an unimposing fashion that simply adds the next layer to build upon. Anything can happen but nothing happens if I don’t, so I will do my utmost to make sure something happens for me!