For as long as I’ve existed I have resented change for being a fundamental part of the human experience. Growing up, I experienced a dizzying amount of change in such a short period of time. My parents divorced, we moved across state lines numerous times, my siblings and I took turns living with different aunts and uncles for varying periods of time. I changed schools every other year. It gave me whiplash and lifelong control issues.
Still, I’ve come to accept that some change can be good, even necessary. That doesn’t necessarily make it any easier. The past several years I have noticed one prevailing trend that has made seasons of change much easier for me: aligning big life changes with the winter months.
There’s a chapter in my upcoming memoir called “Do Not Move to New York in the Winter”. When I transferred from GA State to NYU in January 2018 I struggled profoundly to acclimate. This was the first of my winter transition periods and it was by far the worst one. The Georgia and New York climates in January are vastly different. (Or were, at one point in time.) It felt like it snowed nonstop that year and even once caused my feet to slip out from under me so that I landed on my back in a crosswalk. It was like something from a cartoon.
The transition to a more academically challenging environment was worse. I had missed out on the prerequisite courses and was allowed to take the PRE-reqs simultaneously. I learned that some things should be done in their god-given order as I struggled to keep up my grades in the more specialized courses while lacking the foundational knowledge that I’d learn weeks after the relevant lessons had passed.
Despite my setbacks in 2018, I have since made every major change in my life during the winter time. When I worked 2 jobs in 2019, I started the second job in early February. I moved into my first apartment in December 2018 then back to GA in January 2020, and back again to New York in January 2022. I started my blog in January 2020. I got my first full time office job in January 2023. I moved into my current apartment in January 2023. I started my current job in December 2024.
Moving in the winter not only can save you a bit of money (less people move in the winter, so some apartments offer better rates off-peak) but gives you ample time to settle in and make it feel like home while you wait for the world to thaw and people to emerge from their homes for long enough to come visit yours.
I love scheduling transitional seasons in the winter time because it is the only time of year that you are naturally extended the grace to transition slowly. The sun being out isn’t pressuring you to feel happy as you struggle to adjust. Your loved ones are less likely to badger you to go out, because they are most likely also hibernating. You can take the time you need and not feel like you are missing out on much because not much is going on around you.
The winter season allows you to focus the entirety of your energy on adaptation which is especially necessary when change is emotionally and mentally taxing for you. If the changes make you upset, you have all winter to mourn while the sky matches your dreary state. Nothing is worse than being depressed in the middle of summer while the world and everyone in it appears to be thriving. The millions of people who struggle with seasonal affective disorder will match your energy when it is cold out.
The past two months I haven’t had to dodge very many requests to hang out. (TBH, this is never a problem I have. My friends all tend to be introverted homebodies.) My predominant focus has been finding a new routine and getting used to my new sleeping schedule. Everything is being called in to finding this new rhythm of life. When do I have time to clean my bathroom? Which tasks do I complete on which days so that my apartment is always presentable? When I wake up in the morning, what should I do to ground myself immediately? When do I have time to make artwork? Is exercising something I have time for now? How can I prioritize stretching so that my back hurts less? These questions can quickly fall to the wayside during busier seasons.
And yet, each of those activities is important to building the life I want to live. I am extremely grateful that the slower season has given me the time to figure out what works. Hopefully by the time spring has fully sprung I will have found the cadence of living needed to maintain a balanced life that I enjoy.
Have you ever made a big life change in the winter time? Did it feel different or easier to you than making a major transition in the summertime?